Sunday, February 21, 2010

25 Things You Should Know About London

• It's a fashion capital; you better step up your style the second you get off the plane.

• People will be friendly because they like your shirt or cold because they don't like your hat.

• Nobody has basements here.

• "Are you going on?" means "are you going to another pub after this one?"

• "To be honest with you..." means absolutely nothing, because people say it before everything.

• "Bits and bobs" means a collection of insignificant objects, as in "her place is a mess; she's got bits and bobs all over her floor."

• To "nick" something means to steal something, and people steal often enough. Keep your friends close and your wallet closer.

• Everyone drinks twice as much as in North America.

• Everyone eats twice as much chocolate as they do in North America.

• Someone could make a fortune selling something called 'Cadbury Lager'.

• Always sit on the second floor of the double decker buses, at the front. It's a lot like a ride.

• The sun is rarely seen. It's like Bespin: a cloud city.

• It's somewhat class obsessed. The Queen is the poshest of them all; the structure starts at her and moves it ways down.

• You can tell someones class from just about anything; like what grocery store they go to. 'Waitrose' is posh, 'Iceland' is not.

• Xenophobia is institutionalized here. It seems like you need proof of residence and a UK passport to buy a loaf of bread.

• Michael Jackson is alive and well in every Londoners heart.

• You can drink in public. On the streets, in the park.

• There are casinos and casino games all over the place. Like a wet Nevada.

• You don't tip bartenders here, which I find odd. With the binge drinkers they have a lot to deal with.

• Remember, there's no such thing as a bathroom or a restroom over here. A toilet is called a toilet.

• All the shops close at 6pm. Most pubs close at 11pm. People tend to fall asleep at about 11:30. A night city London is not.

• No one can afford to eat in restaurants, so to replace them they have grocery stores everywhere selling pre-made sandwiches.

• Everyone is about three years behind, internet wise (which is surely a good thing.) People are still excited about facebook here.

• There are hardly any public trash cans due to bombing fears, though I don't see garbage littered everywhere. I don't really understand where it all goes.

• Above all else, people are scared of snow. Even an inch.

1 comment:

  1. Michael Jackson is still alive in the hearts of many North Americans as well, my friend.